Big week oncoming….

Monday will mark my first day at work… which, honestly, I am getting increasingly nervous about.  Not that it really makes a hill of beans what people think, because I am done having to justify myself, my life…. this is it, this is me…. period.  Along those lines, I’ve been thinking about the right attire – and no, not a short skirt and thigh boots – and am thinking I will likely wear a button-down dress shirt, my dressy Editor slacks, ballet flats and a blazer.  This probably will be my wardrobe for those shifts during the business week when I am on days; for nights and weekends I will simply wear some pair of jeans with shoes or my Uggs.  And actually the less dressy clothing feels more feminine in appearance to me than does the quasi-suit combo.  But I shall comport myself with class.  Should be fun this week getting ready to be at work for 5:30am….  yes, it certainly does take me longer to get ready now.

This post, as I write it and consider my other post I wrote today on Trans politics, makes me think of Christine…. those who know me also know that although I did not know her, I have read much about Christine Daniels, and honestly do consider her a source of tremendous inspiration for me, throughout my transition.  Christine, because of her somewhat “national” reputation as a popular sportswriter, became the newfound darling of the trans community, unfortunately at the most critical juncture in her transition.  And she was vilified for living her life as she wanted to, many complaining about her blogging her love of all things feminine and girly.  Which amazes me that those who have been vilified themselves can so quickly turn on another, because they choose not to act the way others would wish.  My point is that, even though I choose to be politically connected, and at some point in time expect to become more deeply participatory and perhaps even more visible, I shall live my life and present myself and my views the way I see fit.   That could mean discussing the ramifications of gender appropriate bathroom access at one point, and digressing to my choice of lipgloss and eyeliner at another (Sephora and Urban Decay by the way).  I will not be apologetic for jumping from one social gender box squarely into another; I’ve done it freely and of my own choosing because I am female, my core essence is female, and this is how I choose to live.  I don’t mean to come off being obstinate, just have so very much on my mind these days.  It’s frustrating enough having to deal with people who “were close” to you but now aren’t, let alone having to put up with some of the trans b.s.

 

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