Happy Easter & Update…

Yes, it’s been quite awhile since my last post.  I was thinking last evening that I should do some updates on occasion, hence this one!  By the way, a very Happy Easter to all…

It’s funny, but I also fell into the this TS “routine” that I had noticed from others preceding me, that being transition, and you never hear from them again on the blogosphere.  Well, I can now appreciate it and why… Honestly, I’ve just been so very busy living.  It’s that simple.  Gone are the days of feeling special or otherwise, now it’s just my life… and it has been a wonderful experience.

So, let’s summarize:  I fully transitioned (24/7) on January 11, so it’s now been 3 1/2 months… and also about the same amount of time back to work.  I have had – zero – issues in my life, nobody has openly harassed me or caused any sort of problems otherwise, I am just a typical L.I. woman making my way through the world.  Work has proven to be a non-event, everyone has been at the least professional, and many have been very welcoming, if not totally supportive.  There are still those who will not acknowledge me or look at me in passing, some of these people I’ve known for 20 years, so…. but that is fine.  The bathroom issue actually has been ok; frankly, the first few weeks I was happy to be in a private bathroom and not have to deal with any more stresses.  All of my legal paperwork is completed, my health insurance being the last obstacle, which was finally changed about 10 days ago, so everything now matches.

The biggest issue, the great news, is that my surgery is scheduled for Monday, October 3rd, in Pennsylvania, by Dr. Christine McGinn.  And, this really is the news, I have all of my surgery money in hand, I’ve paid both my surgeon and the anesthesiologist in full, and the hospital fees are banked.  So, I have no worries going through the summer in trying to get everything together, which is a huge relief for me.  Now I’m in the process of finding a new GP to get all of my pre-op tests completed, and then we’ll be good to go.  In related news, I’ve been on HRT now for 8 months; I had my four month check with my Endo earlier this month, and my T levels? — baseline they were like 354, two weeks ago it was 10…. 10!  Tell me that my body is – not – predisposed to a female physiology.  I had always stated that HRT was either going to make or break, and its been such a wonderful experience, I cannot tell you.

On the negative side, it has been exactly 120 days since last I saw any immediate family.  My current spouse texts me to coordinate things, namely financial, but still will not even speak with me on the phone.  My first spouse is a touch more open-minded; I finally sent her some images back in February, and in March without thinking I phoned her and she did answer and we spoke for a bit.  A few scattered texts from my youngest and closest, but my movie buddy is gone, which will hurt all the more with all of the great superhero movies coming this summer. 

My current spouse (we’re legally separated and eligible to make it final this year..) tells me that she’s having a much more difficult time then she had thought she would.  Which I frankly find ironic, as she hasn’t so much as said she “likes” me for over two years. She’s had some very painful life issues to deal with as well, which I had offered to help with all along the way, so I give her leeway in that, but her standard answer is that she cannot deal with me right now, so again I am the afterthought.  Which is fine, but not when the next few words uttered are that “I care..”  I might sound like I’m bitter, but actually not, I’ve worked through it over the past few months.  It’s just that, as I told her, I’d appreciate complete honesty between us.  Frankly, how am I to feel I can rely on her to be there should anything untoward happen to me?  Which is why I’ve begun to change my contacts, emergency contacts, and particularly with regard to my surgery, I’ve asked my closest friend to be such and have told her my thoughts on what I don’t want done should things go awry.

I continue to grow as the woman that I am.  I have discovered the joys of cooking, and it’s my favorite past-time now, to try to creat unique meals for good friends.  I love to entertain at my home, and do so enjoy good conversation over a glass of wine; I’ve become so much more social than my previous life.  I have more friends now than I’ve ever had in my entire lifetime, real friends I can count on to be there if I really need them.  I’ve even had some dalliances with romance, nothing that has panned out, but I’m trying on my new role and figuring things out.  I love to go out dancing, and socializing with friends, and will now spend literally hours on the phone in conversation with those that are close. 

Its been written that a person’s attitude, actions, etc.. does not change with transition; well I can tell you that from my experience, that’s crap.  I have changed in so many ways, all for the positive.  My entire thought process has undergone a major paradigm shift, I feel this and know this to be true.  My emotions have been heightened and realigned, and simply overall I can honestly sense the shift in my psyche.  Again, very confirming that my transition was meant to be, that it is the right thing for me.. and I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever.

Last month, I gave my very first presentation on Transgender issues to potential volunteers for the crisis hotline for which I volunteer.  It went extremely well, I was very well received, and I look forward to more to come.  I’m leaning on becoming very active locally as an advocate from the transsexual community, and in the wake of the incident at the Baltimore McDonald’s last week, I truly believe that we need to step it up and take positive action.

That about summarizes where I am in my new life for now.  Please stop back, I will be paying more attention to my blog in the future, especially as I count the days to my surgery, the big event.  Also, please feel free to contact me with any questions or otherwise, if I can be of assistance, at keri.mcdonnell(at)yahoo.com.

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