82 Days to Go….

Till I am no longer a transsexual… and will simply be a woman. It’s been awhile since my last post, so I thought I would provide one now, with an update of things.

So yes, surgery is now 82 days away. I simply cannot believe it, how the time is flying by. I originally booked my vaginoplasty and breast aug back in January, and after thinking things over for two weeks, also booked a traech shave for the same day with Dr. McGinn. Although most people tell me that my Adams apple is barely discernible, I know it’s there and I have grown increasingly self-conscious of it. So I am going to have it reduced now and then all of my surgeries will have been done. And surprisingly, I checked my mail today and lo and behold, Chase Bank sent me interest free checks for my credit account! Payment problem solved!

I will work my last shift on the 1st of October, and leave for PA on the 2nd. My surgery is to be on Monday the 3rd, I will be in the hospital till that Friday, then head up to New Hope to stay at a nice B&B until the following Saturday. So two weeks’ vacation in PA, then home for a minimum of another two weeks recovery. I’ve been viewing another gals’ vlog on YouTube, who her her surgery in 2010, and did daily updates, which I will also, and it’s given me perspective on what to expect. Like no solid food for over four days, having to lie flat on my back only for three days without getting up, being catheterized for eight days including over the weekend at the B&B (fun fun), and my new daily life…dilatation, dilatation, dilatation….

Given all of that, I am genuinely getting very excited about the approaching event. Not too nervous, but the after are routine does seem a but daunting on first blush. Painwise, I’ve heard top surgery is the more painful. But hey, no pain, no gain, right?? I’m starting to get things together, like shopping for comfy appropriate clothing – thank goodness I’m not doing this in the middle of summer – and finishing up all of my pre-op testing. So there’s lots to keep me busy…. But it will all be worth it, when in late October I hold my new birth certificate, with my real name, confirming that I am a girl….

Eleven months this on HRT, I’ve got nice hips and my breasts are growing but not close to what I would like. Body hair seems to be minimizing, and my skin is definitely softening, especially my face – my electro tech commented our last session that I seem to bleed much easier than previously. I don’t seem to have wild variations in emotions, but I can sense when I am pms’ing for sure, and I do cry at the drop of a hat.

I’ve been 24/7 everywhere now for seven months, and I have not had one single bad experience anywhere. Even work has been amazing, everyone has been respectful and friendly for the most part, all without incident. But… I still have not seen or spoken with any of my children since before Christmas, and my second wife still also refuses to see or talk with me on the phone. That, the children, has been hard, and I’ve gone through a multitude of emotions with regard to it. My 18 year old graduated high school this year and had a cruise for a celebration, both of which I was not wanted at. He starts college in the fall, and although I get to pay my chunk, I had zero input in the selection and visit process.

In many ways, it seems like just yesterday that I transitioned, and yet it also seems like it’s been forever like this. Tho I continue to adjust, I have adjusted so well and I am so incredibly happy for the first time in my life; it was the best decision I ever made truly. Even suffering the loss, I would do it all again. There’s nothing like the feeling of living, really living, for the first time.



3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Susan Collins
    Jul 12, 2011 @ 06:49:20

    Thanks for sharing this. Your path has been hard, Your rejection by family hurts down to the very soul. Yet you have persisted. You are growing into who you are and I give you much honor and respect for your courage. Kudos to you!!! ❤


  2. Anne
    Jul 13, 2011 @ 05:07:50

    “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby !”

    You still have a ways to go, but it seems you have it well in hand.

    Don’t forget to let go of the “trans” identity, as soon as you can. As you know…it REALLY IS just a process, long and painful perhaps, but in TRUTH…NOTHING MORE.

    And remember….”this too, will pass”

    Best Wishes,



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