46 days to go, and the fun never stops….

That’s where the countdown clock is, yuppers….  It’s been a wild ride at times, for sure, with an amazing amount of experiences going on my life.  Where to start?

Well, last week I had to have a conversation with my supervisor at work about a coworker; I am no longer free from harassment on the job, albeit verbal.  One coworker essentially never speaks to me anymore, and it is only through my breaking into joint conversations that this person will interact.  More-so, this person has never, in my recollection, used the correct pronouns, and it is my belief that this person goes out of the way to use the incorrect one.  Well, I had several consecutive shifts with this person last week, and the last straw was when this person was speaking with another, they said “him” with regard to our getting calls about a situation.  That was all I could tolerate, particularly following a friend saying during the week that I’m an “outcast,” albeit jokingly…. it may have been a joke, but frankly it couldn’t be further from the truth.  So I had a phone conversation with my supervisor expressing my discomfort, and he in turn spoke with others, and the person in question was formally spoken to.  Apparently, the person did not deny doing it, nor beg confusion on the issue, which lent further credence to my belief that this person did it purposefully.  Thankfully, my employer has a zero tolerance policy, and although it was not my intent to have this person in a formal discussion – and why do I feel badly about that when again I was the wronged??? – they took swift corrective action to address the issue.

Which leads to the next bit of news.  Several months ago, I applied for a new position in FAA… two weeks ago, I got the formal offer.  Out of over 120 candidates to bid for this position, I was informed that I was “most qualified” and at the “top”of the selection list.  So it is with a tremendous sense of satisfaction and personal accomplishment, that I can relate that I will be moving to Virginia in the not-too-distant future to my new position and a new phase of my career, of my life truly.  I have rediscovered a passion for what it is that I do, and I truly hope to grow my career and see how far I can take it.  And, truthfully, considering I am TS, I consider it an incredible accomplishment that, not only have I retained my job, I am being promoted and have even received two commendations since January, including a cash award for performance.

I was conversing with my close friend this afternoon on the way to the Hamptons, and I was saying that yes, what others have told me, what I have read, is so true.  You are so much better off to move away, to break all connections, with everyone – everyone you’ve ever know – and start over in a new world, and rebuild.  Even though nothing really has occurred anywhere that have have interacted in before and after my transition, I sense the discomfort in many.  And it is fact that these people knew me, by sight, as that former self, and it is difficult to put that image away and adopt a new one.  I cannot wait to relocate where nobody knows me by sight, where the first several seconds will form the mental image that they will operate from… of Keri and Keri only.  Yes, I completed my transition in place, in the midst of 600 coworkers, each personally briefed on my personal business, and yes I am very proud of that fact, that I freakin did it… how many others could?  But truthfully, it would have been much easier, and less painful in the long run, to have packed it in and moved away.  But that was never an option for me and, frankly, I am not one to run away… well not any more at least.

It’s been over 8 months now since I’ve seen or even spoken with my children, any of them.  This month will mark – one year – on hormone therapy, and that has gone well, although not at the pace I would’ve wished for.  I’ve gone through being randomly alcohol tested and drug tested at work since transition, I’ve successfully found a new GP who is very compassionate and understanding of me, and I have managed to make wonderful new friendships, lasting friendships based on trust and truth.  And I’ve enjoyed this summer more than I have ever in my adult life, I’ve spent every weekend in the Hamptons, I been to the beach several times in my new suits, I’ve discovered some wonderful restaurants and simply amazing food…. I am living plain and simple.  And despite everything else, it is one thing that nobody – nobody – can ever take away from me.  Truly, I have had to destroy everything in order to get to where I am today…. and I would not have it any other way.  And I would do it over again in an instant.  And that simple fact is what people cannot seem to appreciate, at least those “closest” to me…..

And so I sit here, 46 days from finality…. it is not the end-all of end-alls…. it is the beginning of the final chapter in my life, the real truth as opposed to all of the fiction I’ve had to live over so many years.  So in 46 days I will be on that gurney, and will be wheeled down that long, bright, sterile corridor to the end of my transition, the end of my transiness, my “trans” anything.  And to my future that brightly and expectedly awaits me…. and I simply cannot wait for the moment to arrive.  To be complete, that cherry to top off my sundae…  Everything is ready, my surgeon informed me today that all the paperwork, pre-op tests are in, they just need my surgical recc letters which I get next Friday.  I’ve begun to buy all the supplies I need to bring with me, and I look forward to my trek to a little town called New Hope, and a big future called my life….

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Anne
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 03:42:49

    Pretty amazing Keri. I am glad to here about your well earned promotion to blessed anonimity

    Reply

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